and i was finding the link.and i thought i lost it.LOL.
its been years since i last posted.
years indeed.
blogs.what are they actually?
to me, blogs is a channel for me to release my frustrations and agony.
its makes me feel better at least:x

I've got plenty to say.about this certain individual.its a she.notice the words i use-its
there's simply reasons to this.she's evil.pure evil.
innocent on the outside.evil on the inside.
many times have i tried to befriend her, but to no avail.
she chases people away with her nonchalant atttitude.
All i can see on her face was simply-arrogance.
Visualise. that i texted her and she doesnt reply.
its only when you're useful, she'll find you.
other than that, you're just like a disposable trashbag.
she's really nice when she wants to and can be nasty.
its like she has split personality.devil and angel.black and white.
notice the contrast.its like 2 sides of a coin.
of perhaps 2 straight lines that will never intersect-parallel lines:D
oh well.i dont really have any qualms about her, but i do wish i was able to change her.
to be a better person, a better friend.right now, she's on the path to destroying herself.

im starting to hate another person which i really care about.im not gonna say the name though.yeah.im transparent to her that is.no matter how hard i tried(i think i didnt do much though) i just didnt manage to connect to her.
we're like strangers now.hmm.like the polarites of the magnet.she's north and im north.we will never come together and will always repel.
she just doesnt notice that im always watching her.
whenever i tried to say HI, it appears that it fails.
most probably she couldnt hear.
or perhaps she doesnt want to hear..
whenever i see her, i just feel...
excited i guess.

the feeling of wanting to talk to her, the urge, but apparently, my body doesnt follow what my heart is trying to say.
seeing her lonely makes me want to walk beside her and stay with her.
i admire her.
i suppose.
she's nice.words cant describe her.
she's a little naive i guess and innocent.
friendly and stuff.but she just doesnt notice me.

i bought her a birthday present.i did.
i just couldnt find the courage to pass it to her as i was timid as always.
i read her blog on her birthday itself.
i didnt want to pass her birthday present anymore.
her friends, family and many people around her gave her presents.
handmade.unlike me.money to buy.of course i felt inferior.
i always do.
she always made me feel inferior.with her friends all around her.
to me, its always the issue about birthday.
no one cares.well there are i suppose.i just want presents from friends i really care about.
my social circle is small.
no true friends.
perhaps.

as i ponder, i do realise that she has true friends standing by her.
they are the sources of her strength, her pillars of support.
as for me.the tiny me,i've got nothing to say but to accept that this is how life is.
this is reality and reality is harsh.accept it.and i did.