okay.met fiona again. lots of time.
i mean i saw her again.not met
i have this certain feeling that is bothering me that im like disturbing though.
anyways, back to the main point.
i was doing hw outside mac under the bright bright sunlight.
out of a sudden, a shadow came blocking the sunlight.
it was an old woman. sort of at least. she said
x---
在太阳不可以做功课.我有可朋友不到二十岁就瞎了.
(thinking)[...huh???]
太阳反射的阳光会伤害到自己的眼睛.
(thinking)[who is this person???do i know her???]
年纪轻轻要好好照顾眼睛.后悔的时候就来不及了.
(thinking)[should i tell her]
您是中学生还是jc?
(hesitate)
中学
中几?
三
你在做剪报吗?
(thinking)...]
是的
有儿子去一个补习中心然后有很好的foundation
通常学生是英语差,不是就是花语差.你是那一种?
(thinking)[why are you asking me this???]
我两个都差.
什么???!!!!
我看我介绍这补习老师给你.他双语都好,但只教英文.
现在中国人来新加坡,抢夺本地人的工作.
ya lor
有了o level cert 只能做security guard ah.
A level cert也不够.最好是有poly的cert或uni的degree.
要不然不会找到工作的.
(thinking)[zzz.duh.all this i know.]
要用功
(thinking)[of course need la.]
orh.
英文很重要,fail了poly也进不了
(thinking)[i also know this.]
我快收你的东西,我带你去那儿,要不要是你的是.
(thinking)[HUH???!!!]
听我的,我在看着个行业很多年,那个老师是很好的.我的儿子有了A都是他帮的.
我看在今天跟你有福才跟你说的.
(thinking)[is she trying to cheat me,or really want to help me?
来我带你去
不用我有别的事要走了.
你跟我讲在那里有空才去看
我跟你讲,要去是你的是,但是他很好说一我才跟你讲.
我走了,我有事
(thinking)[hurryhurryhurry.byebyebye.weeeeee.something like that.there was a lot of things gg through my mind]
我给你他的好马,有空看看.
okay.我去厕所byebye.
x---
then
i walk towards mac toilet.
then i stare at her before going in to the toilet.
she was like, looking for something at my seat.
and there was this certain man keep staring between me and her conversation.
i dono leh
dont trust strangers?
i dont know,i took precaution say i got things to do, i really got things to do,bu not now.lol
so,i dono la.
she look suspicious and sincere at the same time
she was convincing though.
i dono la.
you know what they say, prevention is better than cure.
so must well, avoid.
so yeah la.she somehow dissappeared afterthat.
i was wondering if she was really sincere about helping me or going to cheat off me.lol
so yeah.what a day.

damn.studying.doing homework.this is all part of my life.
sometimes, i do feel that people are ridiculous.
whats the point of doing this.
whats the point of doing that.
people are complaining, grudging etc.
everyone use just uses blogs to escape reality.
now i just realised the movie sixty six i watch was pretty meaningful
i have to accept what i have in my life and make do with it.
but i do feel that lots of hw is piling on me.
tests too.
im dying literally.
lol.

you know.i just met my friend today.from AEM de.
she's fiona.
i saw her outside mac wearing black
as usual,can feel the charisma emitting
whenever i get near her or see her i get this weird feeling.
like a wow. she's? i dono what to say.
im at a loss for words.
well, she sort of nice and pretty friendly.
quite honest.
not quite but extremely.
i didnt really want to meet her cause many things could happen in the way i dont want to.
smsed was much better.
the way she text the messages makes me feel like she's my good friend.
friends that are honest and sincere.
kinda cute. for some reason.
lol.
i want to know more about her.more and more and more.
i like these kinds of ppl.
unlike my friends.
everyone is always hiding things from me.
i want to treasure my relationship with her.
i dont want to lose the friendship btw her and me
i rarely find these kind of ppl.
hope i can continue to stay in touch in them:)

this tiny me got something to say.
but whatever i say could not be heard.
its appears that its either its too insignificant,too plain that no one noticesOR perhaps being ignored.this tiny me.

dont feel tiny anymore.
this tiny me feels microscopic.
only by using the electron microscope then can see me.
or perhaps, im invisible.
hello?hello?but no one replies.
or perhaps i cease to exist.
all i really need most now is a friend.
not just any.
i need a friend that can help cheer me up when im sad.
i need a friend that can help me when im in trouble
i need a friend that can help me clear my doubts when i have them
i need a friend that supports me in whatever i do
i need a friend that can gives me advice
i need a friend that can tell from the right or wrong to lead me down a right path
i need a friend that is understanding
i need a friend that can listen to me when im troubled
i need a friend that i can trust to tell my true feelings
i need a friend that can share weal and woe
i need a friend that is willing to sacrfice their time for mei need a friend that can care for me
i need a friend that celebrate my birthday with just 1 big grinning smile.
i need a friend that can trust me ask much as i can trust them.
i need a friend i need a friend i need a friend
i have a friend.but not my ideal one.
i have now.i have a few friends in my life that makes a difference.
i'll name them out and explain WHY
really whyfirst i start from my class.si jie.
he is rude, stubborn, lazy,irrittating,likes to beat ppl,gets irritated easilybut one thing for sure, that he is caring
although it might seem like he is nothe cares for others in his own style
he, at least listens to me to whatever i have to say
and comments on ithe always tells me to make my own decision and not ask him to help me decide
he may be lazy, but he tries to do whatever he can do if he has the time
what makes him a true a friend is that he always helps me in a way that he doesnt.
although he does trust me, i just dont know why.

next.matthew
he is well sort of sometimes unknowingly ignores me.
well, i can find any other things bad about him.
he is sort of a excellent friend.he cares for me
he listens to whatever i have to say always helping me,doing things that we have common interest inresponsible,straight forward
likes to joke which makes me a totally entire different person in the library.
he is my good friend.

next.the bunch of group
it may seem like we dont talk much, but the fact is i treat everyone of them my good friends.
ivan,yew boon,collin,khant zaw,brandon,firdaus.
well.we basically like to play basketball,and after everytime,
i just realise their true nature.
they, like to joke and tease each other,they are pretty considerate, though they are irritating.

they are not lazy, but are not hardworking enough.
i still remember clearly how ivan stood up for me in pri 5.
i was like sort of being accused by teacher for playing electonic games in class with that game that was not mine.
i tried to explain to her, but she refused.they reprimanded me for my 'wrong-doings' which i did not.
so the ivan went in front of teacher and explained to her.
there was this bully, in my class for 3 years.
i was actually in elias park but had to change homes due to some reasons, so i had to change school, this bully literally bullied me for 3 years.
you know, peace, i like to avoid conflict and violence.
so i ended up at a disadvantage.so this guy, played the game and make me his scapegoat.tsk.
ivan, a true friend
.never judge a book by its cover.
although he likes to lie.i was pretty gulible until last year.
lol.okay.
this insignificant me, also has a best friend, not only more.
perhaps i only think of her as one, she does not.
things have change for some reason that cannot be explained even to myself.
i have been always putting in the effort.
always.i didnt really have them as true friends.
i thought they were.friendships wither easily.
it takes many months to earn their trust.
and yet it can take a second to lose it.
i feel hopeless.
wth la.
i give up.
go sleep lo.nights

damn there's just so much hw.

gosh.

anyways.

i've a feeling that my social circle change.

it turn out to be worse.

everything is gone

i suppose.

i losing friends.

or perhaps we werent even friends

or maybe we were friends on the outside.

we are strangers now.

now.

oh well.

all i can say is that.

i just realised.

i have no best friends

good friends neither.

seriously.

no joke.

going down this path of my life.

i can see my future.

its not like im anti-social or what.

its like beginning that everyone started to reject me.

one by one.

im losing my friends.

one by one.

its over.

what can i say.

now i can finally see who my true friends are.

oh well.

time to do work.